I am very greatful and know how fortunate I am:

 I need to make clear that despite that I have written that even though I sometimes feel "as if there has to be more to my life then this" but that is not a knock on my current reality I think that is just human nature even if someone does not have a disability or extenuating circumstances  I think that is just human nature and human nature can never be fully satisfied life is a constant battle with human nature.   Everyone knows someone who seems to have a lot but are very unhappy and unappreciative and there are people who have very little but who are extremally grateful and happy which of the two would be emotionally healthier?   The person who is happy with very little because the ones who seem to have a lot but are unappreciative because those are the ones who complain about the smallest things that goes wrong and never realize how blessed they are until they lose it.   But I think everyone needs to remember that life is a constant battle with human nature.   That is why it  is okay to check in with yourself and others there is nothing wrong with realizing that someone you may know or even yourself is not okay.       

What is missing?

 I respect both Joan Jett and Ted Nugent for different reasons Ted for being an underrated guitar player and outspoken with his political view whether I agree or not.   If Ted wants to say that the riff for "Little Miss Dangerous is perfect I agree with that.   I am not sure I know what's the beef because to me Joannie Jet can sherd a guitar.   I can understand if Joan Jett is not your so called cup of tea but I do not understand how anyone who is a fan of rock'n roll can not respect Joan as a guitar player.   There are plenty of guitar players that  are underrated but most of the guitar players Ted mentioned: that should be on the greatest guitar list are unknown to the mainstream.   The difference between having a missing tile and suffering from missing tile syndrome is not always easy to figure out a missing title is anything that prevents anyone from being happy.   Having missing tile syndrome is thinking having something will make a person happy but they are just thinking that will make them happy they think there is something missing.   Which is not always easy to discern so I think everyone has two choices: they can either replace it or learn to enjoy what they have.   I learned to accept the things in my life and even enjoy a lot of it.   I hate to admit this because I feel guilty for thinking this but there are sometimes where I think that something is missing in my life or I wake up thinking "that there is more to my life then this".   I try to not bring this up because I do not want to make those around me feel bad or miserable.   But at the same time I have an appreciation and feel blessed in so many ways: with an excellent family that I could not feel more blessed but at the same I feel something is missing but there is truth to the phrase be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.   

Tag Me In: Wrestling World Unites in Support of Mental Health

I am not giving up but it may seem that way:

 In section #5 I hopefully briefly wrote about my disability and how I have learned to accept it and  how it may seem as if I am giving up but I have just learned to accept  it as a part of reality instead of denying it or being depressed about it.   I want to make the right decisions in my life it is just that more times then I would like to admit I am not referring to the small decisions or the ones that really do not matter I am referring to the most important ones.   I have heard the expression that small things turn into big things fortunately for me that has not been my experience yet.   I have to admit there is not a lot of support in this world there are always people who say they will support you no matter what but the true test is when the most challenging times of life occur  see if they are there.   I think the whole issue with support I think a lot people mean well and they love you they just do not know how to provide the proper support and the bigger problem the one who needs the support is not sure either.   That is the main reason we have such a mental health crisis in this country but at least as a society we are acknowledging that there is a mental health  world wide epidemic so hopefully that is a step in the  correct direction just to acknowledge it.   So these people are not bad people they are just not sure how to treat those who think or know they are having mental health issues the first step is eliminating the stigma around mental health which is starting.   No one wants to ask for help because asking for help has either been  they are weak or are just looking for attention.   There are people who are searching for attention and want sympathy but I do not think that is the majority most have a lot of shame associated with asking for help.   Or they feel selfish and are burdening those around them.   I look at it has just checking in think of the human mind: as a car that needs a tune up or a check up.   It is critical to realize the human mind and psyche is extremally fragile.   I think we have seen the dire consequences it is unacceptable.   So to prevent any more unnecessary tragedies there must be more check ins because the mental health situation has become a world -wide epidemic.   I want to be happy I want to stay happy I am not sure what happiness entails but as: Dennis Prager wrote: in his book "Happiness Is A Serious Problem" we may not have a definition of happiness but we know what being unhappy means.   I want to be happy for others around me but as I wrote previously I feel broken in a lot of ways.   But I try to make the choice to not let that notion interfere with my trying to be "happy".   I hope I continue to grow and mature.    

I am never going to say that I do not care what others think because I absolutely do care

 I am never going to say that I do not care what people think in fact I do care I care a lot.   But I do agree with Joe Rogan that the people who say that they do not care what others think they absolutely care and it bothers them but I am not going to change what I like and what I do not I think when anyone does this they will do anything to be wanted or popular.   To put it another way but in a more serious way they will comprise their values.   The reason I say to put it in a more serious way because no  one should care what  someone likes and does not like I am just using compressing their values as an analogy because I really do not care what people like or dislike I can still be friends with them and like them it does not mater to me.   But I am not going to apologize for any kinks that someone else might not like but again I think I need to reiterate that I do care what others think.   But I do encourage others to accept those so called "kinks".   Not everyone needs to know about everyone any way there are some things that need to be kept private but that does not make anyone bad people.   There will always be parts of a person's personality that they may have conflict but I know for sure everyone needs a release of some kind.