Stay Chill

I am always trying to stay chill keep my mind and body centered keep my chi centered I do not want to ever keep anything inside of me where I am not centered because it is easy for me to just explode and just tell everybody off.   Then think maybe I should not have said that and worry about it.   But then think well I have already said that it is done.   But everyone needs that induvial or a group to confine or to be safe.   I am really non communitive in a lot of ways I am not sure if that is a flaw on my part or just a part of me that I feel like is a bad part of myself.      I am not sure if it is depression or sadness but the truth is there is a lot of sadness in me.   But that does not have to be a negative which it often is I have learned to deal with it through music and prayer.  I have learned to make it work for me.     When I was growing up discovering music was as if and still is  discovering lost treasure.   When I first saw the music video for stupid girl on MTV Garbage was expressing emotions that I had but could not understand that was experiencing which turned into angry because of my confussion.   Juliana Hateflied wrote in her memoir that writing songs is a way for her to make sense of her depression because there is nothing you can really do with it.   Or as Kylie Minogue once said confine in me.   I think one of the reasons that seeing the stupid girl music video was a starting point for Shairly Mansion scared me to death.   Here were a group of people who were expressing feelings about alienation indviuals who were creatures of the night sort of like Courtney Love in the doll parts song and music video the same thing.   I am not sure if I am good under pressure I wish I think I am soft which does me no good.   But I have always had an intact family and an excellent support of people around me.   Even if I am struggling in my life the notion that I have an exact supportive family gives me that comfort.   There are always people who want to ruin your party and want to take away any kind of joy away from you which I try to stay clear but I will sometimes find it.   I would like to return to the expression that the Austrians use no worries mate I love that it is a motto that I really wish I should adapt especially a recovering control freak such as myself.   But the most important aspect of no worries mate that is thinking biblically.   That is not the same as not caring.   Please do not confuse that with not caring because it is very easy to confuse the two because it is not the same.   But it is thinking that problems and issues will happen when you are ready for them because when you take a look back many will see that they would not have been prepared when a problem happens.   I once again have to thank Tiffany Hendra for her love and support.   One of my favorite Lee Aaron songs is called my babe from The Metal Queen’s album Diamond Baby Blues.   This dude is truly her  little baby her babe.    Which is extremely reassuring.   This song is more in the blues and jazz category which makes it extremely upbeat and sweet at the exact time.   Roxette released a great fun pop song called joyride.   I love the whistling in this song.   She says hello you fool I love you.   I’ll   take you on a sky ride sunshine is a lady who rocks you like baby that is tremendous.   Sara Evens song love you with all my heart I love the tempo and mood of this song the drums and beat of the song.   In the song Sara is go going to rock you baby and take away your maybe and you can rest in her loving arms.   Really a loving and vulnerable message which I am vulnerable which may not work for me in the long run but it is the truth.   I respect that Belinda Carlisle always goes in a different direction in each album.   One of the songs I really love from Belinda’s album A man and a woman is called into deep this is a ballad that is a pop song that is full of real  genuine emotion.   In this song Belinda asks to have a little faith baby?   A man and a woman features Belinda’s verision of the song always breaking my heart from Roxette which is an excellent verision I love the drum section of the song which I can really hear.   The best part about Belinda Carlisle she does not follow trends or what she thinks will be commercially successful she does the music she feels at the time which is what music is supposed to be  at least to me.   I also admire that Belinda has been so open about her past demons which is not easy to talk about to begin but to do it publicly I have much admiration for her.   Belinda says she is less tortured which is wonderful to hear.   It is diffcult to be a human being we have such contractions and emotions that make no sense.   It is almost as if God played a trick on us but I take comfort in the fact that all of this will make sense one day.   I cannot make sense of time I am not sure where it goes.   Most of the time the events that happen in my life feel as if they did not happen because I only remember what I emotionally connect.   But I take comfort in the fact that the party will one day end and that I will die.   Because hopefully all the questions I have will be answered.   But the most comforting aspect to all of this I am not required to worry about those questions because I am just a speck in an overall story that I cannot see clearly.  

Rebellion= Mark

Rebellion is this Sunday April 28^th LIVE on Pay-Per-View from the Rebel Entertainment Complex from Toronto Canada I can say this without a doubt Scott D’amore and The Pope Don Calais have really brought the mark out of me.   Well I was a mark when Dixie Carter was President of TNA Wrestling so maybe that does not count or when Jeff Jarrett Bruce Prichard and Dirty Dutch Mantell came back.    But both Scott and The Pope Don Calais have brought the realism back to me that I had when I first became a fan.   Alex Jones might not understand it but I do not know how you could not be in the Dallas Sportium in the front row and not become a fan because of the engery and enthisam and the heat in the building that is so hot everyone can feel it.   The American Dream Dusty Rhodes The Bull of the Woods known at one time under a mask as: The Midnight Rider would eat fried chicken and drink Texas tea with his dad and go to wrestling.   Doctor Tom Prichard and his Brother Love: Bruce would spend their time every Friday night at The Houston Coliseum.   When Gary Hart was the booker Paul Boesch was the promoter.     I think that is what Billy Corgan purchased from MR. Boesch’s widow.   I am really a huge fan of Billy he is truly a student of the game the same thing Jim Ross would always say about The Game Triple H.   I have really changed my mind about Triple H the main reason because of what he has done with NXT helping develop talent for the WWE.   Lance Russell was losing an announcer for his wrestling show when Lance was the general manager of WHBQ and Dave Brown was studying weather and wanted to get into television.   So Lance asked Dave about joining him becoming a wrestling announcer.   Lance told him that if Dave wanted to make television any part of his career you will learn more from wrestling doing anything else.   Dave said well that is not really what I had in mind be a wrestling announcer but I will do it.   I can say about Dave Brown for someone who was not a fan he brought the mark out of me his emotions and his feelings that he showed brought the mark out of me.   I do not know  how an induvial cannot be a fan being in the Mid-South Coliseum every Monday night?      The main event: for Rebellion will be:: The Machine Brain Cage and Johnny Impact for the Impact World Championship with Lance Storm as the speical referee will keep the match fair.   Only if Johnny Impact does not get to Lance during the match.   Because Johnny said that he could get to Brain’s Mom his sister or his girlfriend that is extremely scary.   I hope that does not happen.   Brain can hit  a discuss closeline or the Drill Claw.   The only counter to the discuss is the leg lariat from the middle rope but once The Machine hits it is nasty.   But Brain cannot put his hands on The Pope Don Calais he is just the announcer.   I have  been a fan of Don since he was Cyrus in ECW.   Don Calais is one of my favorite color announcers right now again he really brings the mark out of me.   Watching WWF Raw {The WarZone{ Is War brought the mark out of me as well so did ECW on TNN every Friday night unless they had Arena Football on TNN.   So I really am anticipating Rebellion this Sunday I have been encouraging fans to purchase Rebellion on Sunday that is how much faith I have in the product.   If they do not enjoy it is on me!   I have said I am going to find joy fun anywhere I can find it because I believe that the way life should be lived in other words I am going to lighten up.   No one in my family will be scared to give their opinions or point of view when I get done.   Professional wrestling drew the most money during the great depression the reason fans could take their frustrations out on the bad guys and give their love and passion to the good guys.   During this time people could not pay their bills or buy  food but they went to see wrestling events.      Because they could forget about their trouble and problems and enjoy professional wrestling.   Which is the magic of professional wrestling that you cannot get from any other form of entertainment.   An example:    making the fans pop meaning that explode.    The term pop in professional wrestling is short for “pop their nut".     Or has Pat Patterson would say they go banana.      That is what professional wrestlers are trying to get the fans to do that they have that emotional reaction.  Jim Cornettee lied in open court to product the business.   That is one of the main reasons I have such admiration for Jim Cornettee.   For those who think Jim Cornettee Jim Ross and The Cowboy Bill Watts are bitter they are not bitter there is a lot of truth to what they believe.   In fact the business would do better to go in that direction then what it has become which are just a bunch of high spots.   That is not technically the definition of a high spot in professional wrestling but in this case it is doing something just to get a reaction out of the audience.   Professional wrestlers are looking to get a reaction from the fans but in this case they are usually doing something dangerous that does not add anything to the match or the emotion.     It is just like using a speical effect in a movie just to empress the audience.   What I think about it they should focus more on are their gimmicks and personas and get those over and continue to try and stay over which means to connect either positively or negatively depending on the desired emotions.   Because I do not care how amazing your moves are fans are not going to care if they do not have a gimmick or persona to connect.   It may connect with a small group of fans who will chant this is awesome or this is Impact or ECW ECW.   I love to chant ECW or this is Impact or fight forever but no one will make money or grow their audience if the talent does not develop a gimmick or a persona in which they can connect it all has to do with an emotional bound with the audience.   If fans do not have that they only are performing for a minority of fans instead of trying to please a general audience and the minority of fans.   I am a control freak  I am working on it but I have to admit I am a control freak.   Worring can be a sin.   Because you are not putting your faith in God because he is ultimately in charge.   Even when life does not make sense which let's face it is most of the time.       How can worry be a sin?   It seems so natural to me it is my default postion.   But all it does is cause me to have stomach pain and issues.   When I worry it goes always goes right to  my stomach.   I hope I can have a happy medium.   Because I do care it is diffcult for me because I always feel like a narcissist.   Sometimes when I do the things I want to do I feel guilty I am not sure but I am working on it.   I need to thank Tiffany Hendra for disscuing about being a control freak and giving it to God.   Because I cannot handle it.   I do not think I am required to do so. Which is the absolute best part.      Tiffany talks a lot about doing all of this stuff and just living a high pasted life so we all need to slow down.   Maybe know that hopefully things will happen when you are ready for them.  Not everything happens for a reason and not everything works out for the absolute best.    When I look at my life in totality I cannot believe my good fortunate I marvel at it!     I think well I am not going to get through this situation and then about a month or two later I am not even sure what I was worried.   But I worry about other people how can I put them first or put God first it is a challenge.   But those issues will come when I am ready for them.   I think I know what it is God has brought me this far he is not about to leave me.   Australians have a saying no worries mate I love that because it true.   That is actually thinking biblically or giving it all to God.   I have always thought of my brother Benjamin as my tag team partner he was always Shawn Micheals of the Midnight Rockers and I   am Marty Jannetty.   I can be satisfied being compared to Marty Jannetty.   It is not a negative like it often is.   Laura Baron talked about crabbing your popcorn bowl when people try to diminish your light you have to take your identity back.   Steve Harvey talks about how your gift will make room for you and not to focus on your passion.   But your passion is the thing you do the best with the least amount of effort. Do not focus on what you are passionate about unless you are good at it.   I am glad  The Innovator of Volence   Tommy Dreamer has joined the Impact creative team replacing Impact Hall of Famer The Monster Abyss. I loved his Hall of Fame speech last year the night before Bound For Glory about how father time will come and tap us all on the shoulder and how will we all be remembered not by the twitter followers you have but when are on top of that mountain and you are about to put your fist in the air and when the moment comes and you will know but you have to lift that next person up so they can experience being up on that mountain with you.   I could not have said it better.   I hope to be as good as a person as you are.   Thank you for your loyalty and appreciation for others who helped you archive your dreams.   I hope you can continue to make the business better passing on your knowledge to a new group of talent as a producer for the WWE.   Does the business need to change yes hopefully it will continue evolve for the better.   But let’s stop with all of the hit pieces about professional wrestling hopefully no one is forced to do anything they do not want to do or will not do anyway.   But every promoter wants what is best for the talent the WWE says their greastest asset is the talent and that is the truth.   No one is trying to pull the wool over any one eyes professional wrestling has always been entertainment or all talent work the carnival games.   If you want to be really cincinnal professional wrestling is one big con because they prentend they do not like each other.   But they all shake each other hands even if they do not like each other they will shake each other hand.   Because they all have the same goal they are trying to make a living and to get themselves over.   It is all based on deception and I love it.   I will be a rebel until the day I die.   It is ironic that name of the pay-per-view This Sunday is called Rebellion and I  am talking about being a rebel.   But being a rebel does not have to be a bad  thing sometimes it is just taking a stand or defending something or someone you love.      Join the Rebellion!     

Silver Orange Canda #24

I do not consider myself to be a good Christan but here is thing I think that is the whole point of Christianity.   There are always people who will tell you that you are not a good Christan and you must live the way they live.   I used to believe they mean well but as I have gotten older I am not so sure.   I think sometimes they want to prove that they are better then you are.   That is truly a turn off.   I do not like the notion that individuals are just going to be Christans just because they want to go to heaven when they die.    That seems extremely selfish to me I could be wrong about that.   But I think individuals should be good people just because it is the right thing to do.   There are just some fundamental truths I think everyone should treat other human beings well because it is just the best way to be.   Treat people the way I want to be treated.   I have been treated condescendly by Christans meaning they change their tone based on who they are talking.   But that does not change my mind.   I really never want to say things that I think they want to hear.   But I want to thank my Lord and savior this Easter   weekend for dying on the cross for me and the rest of mankind.   I am truly blessed on my birthday I cannot believe my good fortune especially a swerver such as myself.   That is a Francine Shane Douglas reference right there not a Vince Russo reference he is known for the swerve as well.   Andy Kauffman could have been the first start of the swerve in professional wrestling.   The night the line was crossed was when The Franchise Shane Douglas swerved the NWA and threw the NWA title down and declared the Eastern Championship title the Extreme Championship title.   Here is the beauty of the entire swerve Shane’s dad had just passed away a few months prior his dad always would talk to him about the scientists and all the people who made they were always people who took chances.   He would say things such as: it is easy to be middle of the road it is easy to be non-controversial you can either sore with eagles or you can keep your feet on the ground that is why he looked up and the sky during the promo some call it a dramatic pause Shane was thinking wheather he should do this or not but this was The Francine’s first chance at putting what his dad taught him into practice.   I am really looking forward to Rebellion Impact’s next pay-per-view next Sunday LIVE from The Rebel Entertainment Complex in Toronto Canada.   I thought last year’s Slammiversary 18 event from The Rebel Entertainment Complex was one of the best Pay-Per-view events the main reason was because of the fans there passion and energy what makes those who are not wrestling fans think we are crazy.   But wrestling fans are not crazy we are not right as: Al Snow would say but that is different from being crazy.   I have to admit I am not right and I have made peace with that.   I wish others would make peace with it as well.   Lance Storm will be the guest referee for The Machine Brain Cage VS. Johnny Impact for The Impact World Championship.   I am disappointed with The Machine putting his hands on The Pope of professional wrestling Don Calais.   Don is just a color commenter.    The Machine has no right to put his hands on Impact officials.   I can understand his anger.   It seems like Johnny Impact paid off Impact’s senior official Johnny E Bravo.   I am sure Taya Valkyrie and Killer Kross had this planed out as well.   Taya looks much better since she turned.   Don Calais is the pope of professional wrestling, and I am just a mark I am not worthy.   Scott D’amore is part of the golden bookers of Impact as well.   It was Scott’s idea to bring Lance Storm as the special referee which only makes the match more intriguing.   Lance will make the match fair.    The Whole F’N Show Rob Van Dam will return to Impact the next night after Rebellion he will also return to The Arena in South Philadelphia it used to be known as: The 2300 Arena in May for Impact tapings.   Which will be a first time for Impact.   I never thought Rob Van Dam would ever do stand-up comedy but I am glad he does.   Mick Foley started doing comedy a couple years back never believed that would happen but it is wonderful.   Roddy Piper did a stand up tour so does Jake The Snake Roberts it makes me feel good that these legends have another shot at doing something different where they can entertain the fans.   I am extremely fortunate that I am able to buy and watch Impact’s Rebellion pay-per-view event.   I feel as if now Canada is becoming the wrestling capital of world.   The Demon Assassin Rosemary Taya Valkyrie Scott D’amore and The Pope Don Calais are all from Canada.   I love that RoseMary attacked Kyra Hogan after she blamed RoseMary for the loss of    Dark Allie if she had just stayed in the dark realm like the Demon asked her it would never had happened.   I have always loved RoseMary and I think she took her frustrations out on Kyra.   I think Scott D’amore and The Pope Don Calais are geniuses    for turning Impact around in  such a short period of time.   Fans can say whatever they want about Impact but everywhere they are going they are sold out.   For most of the time I am excited for Rebellion next Sunday April 28^th if being a wrestling fan makes me crazy I am crazy I love it I want my passion for it to effect other people .   I love these larger than life characters that is truly the world I want to live.   I watch Impact on Twitch every Friday night or you can watch it on The Pursuit channel. I think Twitch will be the only social media I will use from now on. I enjoyed interacting with The Queen of Extreme Franchine on YouTube she is extremely sweet the fact that she would take the time to answer my questions.   I have always been a fan of her’s since she managed Tommy Dreamer in ECW on TNN but I really have a ton of respect for her.   Now that The Whole F’N Show Rob Van Dam has signed with Impact he should be known as MR Friday Night. The timing is right.  Tommy Dreamer started doing comedy he just started.    That is extremely cool I am really looking forward to what comes of it.  

Silver Orange Lobotomize

Fans and indivuals who work in professional wrestling need to stop saying that those who worked in ECW drank the cool ad first off it is not true.   The talent who worked in ECW had just the same amount of passion and love of the art form that the talent in the WWE have.   Maybe more because ECW felt maybe that they were against the world most of the time.   So I am not against the WWE the company fuels the industry so I am not a fan of the mentality that if you have not done anything in the WWE you have not done anything in in the industry.   I do not think AJ Styles would have had an opportunity with the WWE if he did not accomplish what he did in Impact.   That is not a knock on AJ’s talent but AJ got noticed by the WWE because of what he did in his past.   There are many others who were able to get an opportunity by what they accomplished in Ring of Honor examples: CM Punk and Samoa Joe.   I do not hate reality but I am just not very good at dealing with it.   I prefer my fantasy world it is just much better.   When I think about what I remember most about just being a fan of professional wrestling it was never about how good the matches were it is the connection to the personalities or chracters that I remember.      Examples: Stone Cold Steve Astuin The Heartbreak Shawn Micheals and The Rock.   I am not suggesting that how good the matches are is not important but I do think if the personalities do not connect it will not matter.   In other words fans only remember what they emotionally connect.   Many fans talk about how great the match between Macho Man Randy Savage and The Dragon Ricky Steamboat was from Wrestlemina 3 is but I am sure most fans only remember a spot or two from that match.   They problay remember the emotions they had during the match.   I prefer the program between The Nature Boy Ric Flair and The Dragon Ricky Steamboat in the NWA from 1989 it still holds up.   I am suggesting that if no one has a personality that the fans can connect it will not matter how good the matches are.   Sometimes it seems to me the talent now performs at a high level but they are all doing the exact same moves.   So just remember the connection to the talent is what matters most.   The best part fans do not know what is real about the talent and what is not they do not know where the fantasy beginnings and where it ends.   They may think they do but they do not.   Because they see the talent as the indviuals they see on television.   When people watch a TV show or a movie they can accept that the actor is playing a character but that is not the case in wrestling which I enjoy the most.   Tommy Dreamer said professional wrestling is just one big con meaning it is diffcult to distinguish between what is real and what is fantasy and that is the fun of it.    

The Evil Eye

I never want to give the evil eye I always want to word out the evil eye those are both ways in which the malochio it is an Italian word.   Ronnie James Dio’s grandmother was an Italian and that is where Ronnie got the rock gesture more specifically harder rock.   I hope as I have gotten older that some of my angier is gone.   Do not be angry but there are many things in life to get angry about.   But there is so much small stuff that there is no reason to get angry.   As I said earlier I do not have a them versus us mentality I do not get it.     I am just glad the marks are out there.   What is the main rule about marks?    You never stop working the marks or fans some find the term mark to be offensive.   But I wish more fans could enjoy their hobbies without trying to out think or outsmart the booker.   Fans now do it with music I am not suggesting that fans do not have a right to their opinions but it is almost as if fans already have their minds made up before they listen to a new record or go to the concert they have already decided that they  are not going enjoy it.   Maybe because that is the in hip thing to do I do not like it.   I think it has taken the fun away from them.   I am of the belief it may not work out for me in the long run but I think you have to find fun and joy wherever you can find it.  

Orange Fest

I have always thought about my maturity level or lack thereof.    It is not something I think about often because it can be an obsession which is not productive.   I try to internalize which means to me I try to take responsibility for the things I can make myself responsible.   But I know one thing and this is pithy I am not trying to pay trbute to Bill O’reilly but I like the word.   I can go overboard I tend to be hard on myself I expect a lot of myself.   Maybe I am overly sensitive and I do not want to admit it.   I know that many in my own family are affaird of offending me which blows.   I do not care at all about anyone agreeing with my opinions all I would like to do is express them in a clear and understandable way that is it.   I know that life is not just happy go lucky but I do think if a person is going to continue living that person must retain some kind of optimism wheather I feel it or not.   Man if I acted only by my feelings what would I be like?   I have an idea not good.   So I am not going to do that it is a part of maturity.   So I may not be good at handling so called reality I sure do my best.   Usually it I am not very good at it but I am sure trying.   But here is what I want to make clear no one needs to make life soft for me it does me no good.   My dad once asks me about all my favorite wrestlers leaving Impact it does not bother me I was discussing this with a fan on youtube that many fans which I believe is the minority of fans have a them versus us mentality which I do not have and more importantly do not understand.   I do not care I am just glad that they are fans.   There are definitely aspects of the product that I do not like but I choose to focus on what I enjoy.   When I consider how hard all the talent in the industry work I would like every wrestler to have control over when they go or leave a company.   Remember I view these professional wrestlers as family.   These are not just puppets who when I pull the strings and they dance.   They are not just stupid dumb professional wrestlers they are all part of my family.   That is why when media picks on it I am going to defend it.   Does it need to change? Absolutely it is not perfect I wish there was an off season I think it would be better for the industry.   But I am not sure how that would work because I am not sure how contracts and the like are structured but I am all for change for the better.   In my opinion I believe professional wrestling is the greastest form of entertainment there is the larger than life personalities there is nothing like it.   I want all of this to be passed down so generations can experience the joy and emotions that I have gotten from being a fan.   If a company puts indviuals in charge who do not protect the business or know what they are doing it will cease to be.   I do not want that to happen I love it too much.    

Hard and Heavy

I do not worship Satan but I do love hard rock maybe not heavy metal which I make a distinction it is a release for me it ignites that frequency inside of me that only that sound can ignite.   What is that sound?   I am not sure until I hear it but once I hear it I know.   Hard rock or just music in general has been an obsession for me at times.   Learning to sing I am not sure about that?   But what I have tried to develop is to try and get the rhythem and the beat down before I attempt to sing that seems like the best strategy.   Because I can capture the beat and rhythem of the music without any effort.   It is my gift.   I really love the Queen song “don’t stop me now it is really a great beat and rhythem.   It could be a pop song but it has elements of hard rock to it.