Keep a journal

Keep a Journal no one needs to see it but you but keep it just to keep notes and pitches.    So what do you want? I hate that question. But in Chris Hardwick’s book he writes you have to know what you want and even if you do not pretend like you do because you have to know what you want. I think you probably need to be as specific as possible because if you write something down it forces you to be specific. Never give up on your dreams because people who are your friends will try to stop you from going after your dreams because they have your best interest at heart and they mean well that is why it is absolutely cruel for you to rely on your imagination. But write those pitches down no one needs to see them it is probably for the best that not everyone sees it. I have become a fan of comedian Whitney Cummings at least some of her comedy not to disrespect her but the most important thing is that I am a fan of her’s. Chris Hardwick in his book writes that he got a VHS and a Betamax and the picture on the Betamax was a much better picture. I guess I will not be successful because I have to have my sleep because success makes you uncomfortable. Eddie Edwards and Brain Cage had an excellent match on Tuesday December 3rd on Impact on AXSTV this match was hard hitting great storytelling and psychology until Michael Elgin interfered in the match and it was thrown out and it became a triple threat match. I will continue to support Impact on AXSTV and Twitch every Tuesday night at 8/7C because I love it those who do not do not have to do so. I will continue to support Tommy Dreamer and his House of Hardcore/HOH  because I love it. The main thing about me is no one can say that I am not passionate but the thing about passion it is spontaneous which in my opinion is the absolute best part of it in my opinion. I agree with Quentin Tarantino that there is a difference between violence in movies and real life that there is a huge difference. I feel the same way about professional wrestling. For example Al Snow has made a full time living making people believe he can knock someone out with a plastic head in reality he cannot even make toddler cry by hitting them with a plastic head but in the context of professional wrestling it works. Or Triple H hitting an opponent with a sledgehammer it works in the context of professional wrestling. But Jim Cornette disagrees that it is not believable in professional wrestling. I have a ton of respect for MR. Cornette I have learned a lot from MR. Cornette about what professional wrestling was meant to be and what makes it a unique and such a different art form and type of entertainment if you will. I disagree with MR. Cornete about Sami Callihan and Jordynne Grace for example. A dream for me is to visit the 2300 Arena in Phillipdhia. Which used to be known as the ECW Arena that would an example of a dream not a goal because a dream will likely never happen. I would love to see: The Hardcore Hall of fame on the wall in 2300 Arena. I will continue to support Impact on AXSTV every Tuesday night those that do not want to do not have to do so. I will do it because I love and have a passion for it. Check out Kip Winger’s song mills away. I am a huge fan of Bevis and Butthead but I was not a fan of the uncool kid Stuart who wore a Winger T-shrit. Go easy on yourself along the way. Life is extremely difficult and man it truly sucks I hate to be that way but I truly do not enjoy being challenged and I do believe most people do not enjoy a challenge but they enjoy the results that they get from it. Such as excise but when I am getting going I am fine but I hate the process of just starting to excise but once I get going I am alright. I just wish I knew how far to push myself when excising. Check this out: I have noticed how easy my mussels start to atrophy. It scares me because it happens so quickly before I get a handle on it. Life is extremely challenging and a pain for everybody but do not cause a conflict or make problems where there are none because life is hard enough with out causing unnecessary conflict or problems. There are times in life when conflict is absolute necessary and unavoidable which I do not like to admit but it is true at least in my experiences. For example: There are some people who are always looking for a conflict I do not understand that but some people are just that way.   I have noticed shaving my face I  do not shave myself but the most challenging shaving my mustache I wonder if there are any suggests for this?   Carmen Electra sells that Phillips  Norelco   electric razor I wonder if those work?   Do you have to shave everyday?   Because I have extremely sensitive skin which is why I do not shave every day because my skin gets irritated very easily  which is why I do not shave every day!   One of the main reasons I prefer Laura Brangian's version of let me in  over Eddie Money's version Laura's version has the cowbell.   There are only a couple songs of The Money Man's  that I love.   Examples include: take me home tonight featuring: Ronnie Spector shakin I think I'm in love  two tickets to paradise  and walk on water.   I realize that life is not easy my only point I do not enjoy the process but I should start embracing it!   What sober couldn't say from: Halestorm Lizzy Hale puts every emotion into this wonderful ballad.   Lizzy's voice is full of such sadness angrier but mostly sadness.   What attracts me to music such as: this are the real emotions connected to it.   It is why I love so much of Juliana Hateflied's music because she is able to express emotions that I am not able to express because I can identify because I feel as if Juliana is speaking to me directly.   In Juliana's memoir: When I grow up she says her music attracts a lot of alienate people!   For real emotion a song such as: the silence from Halestorm's album Vicious.   This album is actually available  on Vinyl.   I love the buzz which is also on the album.   Also conflicted is one of my favorite songs on the album as well.   Dreamer from Ozzy Osbourne has become a theme:  of this project.   One of the things I have said there are a lot of people who live in mansions  that are miserable I am not suggesting that money does not help people become happy but I  am just suggesting that there are indviuals who are born into wealth but they are absolutely miserable because maybe unfortunaly their parents may have abused them.     What if somebody gives you a mansion and says you will never have to work again!   Would that make them happy or satisfied in any way?   It would not hurt but I would not think so  I could not make a dollar on my own and I understand the idea of not having money I do not know what it is like but I understand how important money is to live.   I will continue to support Impact Wrestling and Tommy Dreamer's House of Hardcore/HOH because I love it and it is my passion those who do not wish to do so do not have to do so.   Maybe the word I should have used is diary and not journal because this should be personal and help you feel better in some way it should not make you feel shame if that is happening you should stop because the only purpose is to help you in some way.   Maybe accepting lower parts. What got me to think about this was reading: Dennis Prager's book Happiness is a serious problem.   That part of life is accepting your lower parts I have learned to embrace my lower parts because reading the book made me realize that I am normal that the thoughts that I have had in my life are absolute normal.   I am a Christan I am not a conservative Christan I have only voted repbulican for only   one reason because the democrats have gone so far to the left.   But I do  not agree with conservative   on everything I do not like how some and I mean some conservative Christans make people feel guilty for thoughts that they have.   There have been many times in life where I know my thoughts are not pleasing to God but there is a differences between acting on lustfully thoughts or evil thoughts because I do not think there is anything wrong with admitting that I have had lust in my heart throughout my life acting on lustful thoughts or evil thoughts is a completely different situation but I have come to embrace my lower parts not that I am happy about them.   No one needs to be happy about their lower parts but I think you should accept them other wise you will become a religious paranoid.   I do not know if I mentioned  rock show from Halestorm not from Blink 182  this song sums up how I feel extraordinarily well.   When I say this kind stuff saved my life I am not lying I wish I could tell you I was because that would make more sense.   When I was growing up I felt alienated and discovering Garbage Tori  Amos etc I found my place in the world tonight to quote from the song.   My faith in God and religion is essential  for me it is a foundation without it I would not be able to move forward but religion has never touched like certain types of music as and continues to do so.   I could have been a dreamer from Ronnie James Dio's band Dio I could have been a dreamer because dreams are what we are and dreamers never die.   The dreams I have for the future give me the passion to move forward but the thing about my dreams they may never come true.   That is okay with me and it maybe for the better I have no idea what God maybe protecting me.   But my faith in God and that there is something greater out there then me that gives me the absolute comfort.   But I am not one that will give up on dreams but I have to thank God for getting me this far because I am not sure how I got this far with out him.   I do not acknowledge God in the way I should but I will continue to improve.   I am not someone who will pretend to like something because it is the cool thing and popular thing to do maybe I would have more friends if I did?   I do not think it is worth it.   It is the same as:  Chris Hardwick said that when he stopped trying to make the entertainment industry happy and just pursue the things that give him fulfillment that is  when everything changed!   That sums up perfectly what I am trying to express I love professional wrestling and hard rock that will not make me popular but I do not care.   I hate when fans make fun of other fans who are not "smart" to the business or fans such as myself who really enjoy and get into the product.   I love women as well I am not going to lie.   I am a huge fan of Henry Rollins his writings have really helped me!   I first discovered Henry Rollins hosting:  The List on VH1.   Watch VH1's 100 greatest artist in hard rock hosted:  by Carmen Electra if you have not seen it that is where when I was growing up I spent  most of my time watching VH1 MTV and even BET I would watch VH1 or MTV and dream about hosting on MTV or VH1 because I wanted to have the relationship with an audience that the other VJs had the connection that they had with the viewer or listener if you are a DJ on radio or a talk radio host.   The main reason I started this project with the quote from Ronnie James Dio I heard about how Ronnie always went out of his way to be nice to people he always gave his fans their moment and never took that away from them.   I have heard the exact same thing about Jeff Hardy and Bobby Lashley both of them go out there way to give fans their moment.   I hope I have made my dreams clear. the hobbies that I like to pursue will not give me fame or make me popular but I do not care I would rather have hobbies and passions that actual mean something to me.   I have to thank Eddie Trunk for introducing me to bands such as: Rival Sons and Halestorm more specifically Lizzy Hale.   I first heard about Glenn Hugues from reading Eddie's book essential hard rock and heavy metal volume 2.   I think Ronnie James Dio summed it up best about Eddie Trunk every musican band and fan should thank this man for keeping this  music alive for every single one of us!      In Chris Hardwick's book The Nerdist Way how to get to the next level in your real life  he writes RPG your life by using graph paper because drawing out what you want and creating a picture will help you get more of an idea of what you want then just writing it down.   I may try that and the best part no one needs to see it expect for me the problem I have I am not sure how to get started?   The reason I  purchased Meredith Brooks album Deconstruction I could not find any of the songs on youtube my kindle anywhere but I am glad I brought it because it is an awesome album.   Madison Michelle hosted:  Women First on VH1 and she really promoted the album on that show.   In my opinion Meredith Brooks her voice her guitar playing all of it extremely underrated.   The main aspect of Tori Amos's music that I find absolutely fascinating she plays the piano the way a person would play the guitar with that same emotion and intensity of a guitar player that plays hard rock.   To put it another way I am not sure the piano was made to be played with the kind of intensity that Tori plays the piano Amy Lee Lizzy Hale there are only a few others that I can think of who play  the piano like Tori Amos this whole hard rock thing is not a bad thing like many believe it is a wonderful outlet and an escape whatever your outlet is whatever that thing is that gives you that passion and energy love whatever it is do not let anyone talk you out of that outlet.   One day we will all die why would you want to give up that outlet that gives you joy happiness peace something that dulls the pain?     For me it is professional wrestling and music but everyone's outlet is different and there will be people who will try to talk you out of your outlet because they have your best interest at heart but why would you want to give up an outlet unless it is hurting you or someone else do not give it up!   A lot of people will try to talk you out of liking something for a simple reason they do not understand and they will not take the time to understand why you like something which is the worst part.   I think everyone deserves every wonderful thing they want in this life.   It is an absolute trap to believe that you do not deserve to accomplish every goal and dream you have.   It is more then narcisstic to believe other wise.   In this regard you are no different then anyone else.   I can not say this person deserves x but I do not deserve it because it is me.   If you work just has hard as someone else or even harder you deserve every wonderful thing someone else deserves.   To believe otherwise is absolute foolishness.   Even if you were born with extenuating circumstances   or a bad hand you still deserve every wonderful thing you want in life.   I have said many times throughout this thing that one of my goals is to have the philosophy of Wayne's World that may come off to some as not caring but that is absolutely  not the case   maybe for me to lighten up a whole lot more.      The problem is people take it to absolute extremes but I think the best wat to describe my thinking on this  is moderation because I have heard the key to a happy life is moderation.   l love Wayne's World 2 the whole Waynestock festival that is what I had in mind when I first started thinking about starting this project.   I remember watching Lady Gaga's Super bowl half time performance where she asked the question do you want to feel good with me?   It was something like that but my point is what she said should not be taken for granted!