Living the dream

I think people who do not have some kind of social anxiety I wonder about.   I think most people do but they do not talk about it but I am sure that they acknowledge there social anxiety here is the thing about me when I talk to someone I do not map it out in my head I just sort of wing it because I can tell you if you over think it that will not work.   When you go in for a job interview the interviewer will usually ask where do you see yourself in 5 years?   I really do not like that question because I really try and not think to far into the future that will really create anxiety.   Some might say well if you had a plan maybe you could get more of what you want out of life but I really try not to think a lot about what may happened.   The only real certainty we all have in life is that we will die.   So there really are no certainties in life but I marvel at the people who can get what they want out of life because that takes health and energy and I do not have a lot of energy I really wish I had more I am not really sure how to get it maybe through excise eating healthier I do not know but I would like to know how to get more energy.   I know one thing for sure you must have something you are passionate about it because there are a lot of people that do not have a lot of support and they just want someone to know they care.   That is all they need they need to know that they are not alone and that God loves them.   Some people especially during Christmas time feel abandoned by God I do not know what it is about this time of year but I really seem to get more depressed this time of year I am sure it has something to do with the cold weather.   Anyone who does not think the cold effects their mood they are wrong.   God will never abandon you people will abandon you friends and family will leave you but God will never abandon you.   I think I know why people get more depressed during the holidays because they think of love ones who are not there and how they would be.   It is why people commit suicide because they do not think their lives will get better.   It   is easy to think well this is as good as it is going to get for me I felt that way but that is only a trap.   But the thing to remember about suicide that person inflicts that pain and the burden of that suicide on to not only those family members but on to every generation that comes after because family members will always remember that is so and so they committed suicide.   It just an unbelievable burden.   I wonder how many people would have killed themselves if they realized the pain it caused?   I do not think suicide is selfish because the people who do it just want to be out of pain at that moment but they are not thinking about what they are causing after that the after math.   Remember: you are not your property you are God’s property.   People will say to me that I hate everything they are wrong I do not hate everything because hating something takes a lot of energy and time that I do not have.   I focus my energy on things that I enjoy I do not have time to hate anything.   I have heard some people say that I am to passionate about something or not passionate enough well they cannot have it both ways.   But real passion and genuine real emotion can not be faked because it comes from with in a person.   You cannot control   the cards you are dealt just how you play them.