There is a huge difference in what people say publicly versus privately:

 

I am truly bothered I really am I am sure some people would ask what is the big deal it does not matter they tell me this notion that you can assess someone’s character by what they say privately.   Here is an example: President Trump and the planet Hollywood tape and he did not even know he was being recorded do you think he would have said anything like that if he had known he  was being recorded?   Of course not it was an obvious joke but people will aruge people say things in private that they do mean okay even if that were true and maybe there is something truth to it there is no alive who if everything they have said   is recorded cannot be made to look like a bad person.   If someone says the n word in private that does not automatically make them a racist now if  someone calls someone the n publicly that is very bad even then I am not sure you can automatically label them as racist but there is a world of difference between public and private conversations.   A point of private talk is to vent to say gross things to say silly things I do not think that should be the majority of your conversations obviously but it does not bother me.   People say the n word for example: sometimes only out of anger I do not think that is a word anyone should use but if they say it only out of anger or joking around that does not make them a racist.   If someone does not like someone because of their race that is the definition of racist.   What truly bothers me is when someone is caught joking around and then years later  they are forced to make apology that to me is bullying it is the notion of looking at me I am so virtuous I am fighting against racism sexism etc no they are not they are just showing what arrogant narcisstic indviuals they are no one can live up to their impossible standard in which they have set it is not a good sign if people are being judged by what they say privately.   Urinating privately is okay but urinating  publicly is not.